你要的不是我心碎的失去轮廓

2008-10-06T21:52:00.002+08:00

even b4 i earn money,
i alr spent alot of money liao..
haix...
clothes, clothes, clothes. nth but clothes..
and those sets of stupid formal wear...
and i types SETS, not set...
jitao waste 300 plus including that pair of shoe...

till now, i still think tat i m quite useless at my workplace.
hah.
actualli there is nth much for me to blog abt..

angel, pls call me when u see this..........

2008-09-29T21:48:00.000+08:00

long time since i blog...
now, i m stepping into the next stage of my life...
today is my first day in the working society...
is not that i nv work b4...
but this is my first job after i grad...
not counting kbox..
lol...

work is boring. hah... y? i got nth to do... hahaha
anyway, the people there are nice..
so ethg is ok...
i cant contact angel...
and i m looking for her desperately...
haix..

2008-08-29T17:22:00.001+08:00

i m back...
after a month...
alot of things happen...
and i must learn to let go...
exam finally finish..
hope that can pass...
cos pass = graduate...
yesh!!!!

2008-07-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

hah
i shldnt hav gei kiang and play mj.
anyway,
its over.
i dun wish to tok abt it

2008-07-26T00:00:00.002+08:00

god damm shag...
and now,
i m finally home...
yeah!!!!!!!

din slp for the whole of ytd nitew...
why?
for the stupid SM ppt...
din manage to complete...
tmr gotta do again...
haix...
life sux...
i sux more...

2008-07-25T12:18:00.001+08:00

i m tired....
i decide to give up alr...
no point la...
fuck...

2008-07-25T06:23:00.000+08:00

i got a bad feeling...
and i m sure i m dead this time..

2008-07-24T14:47:00.002+08:00

i have a v bad feeling...
the feeling is not gone yet..
it seems like i had lost everything over the nite...
maybe i m jus paranoid...
haix...
i feel like slapping people....
cos i also dunnoe why...
haix....
things change yet ppl haven change...
aiya,
fuck me la...
cb

2008-07-23T12:49:00.000+08:00

went to plush to drink...
with jack and see ru wen...
for the first time,
i m not drunk....
but forced myself to vomit,
cos of the coke i have drunk...
idiot...
gd and bad session...
haix..

2008-07-22T03:38:00.000+08:00

bad day indeed...
things happen...
like what i said once her problem is solved,
it will be mine...

and upon hearing wat she told me,
i cried...
i told myself not to let her noe..
but she still found out..

this is not the first time..
after telling her the reasons,
the more i feel like crying...
i dunnoe why...

watch tang xin feng bao...
and i noe the reason why...
maybe....
the feeling of losing a good fren (although i m not and she assured me that nth of these wld happen),
is almost like when u r out of love..
the onli difference is that u can be out of love for as many times as u like,
but u onli can lose ur good fren once...
and cos, i teared again...
hah, that is stupid of me..

2008-07-20T00:23:00.001+08:00

i have enuff.
and this time i realli mean it...
enuff is enuff....
jitao emo all the way during work...
shld i say i m pissed instead?
aiya, fuck la..
i dunnoe la...
cb

2008-07-16T23:50:00.001+08:00

hope pgj is better now....
alr tried my best....
once her problem is slove,
it will be my problem again...
haix...

2008-07-13T23:16:00.003+08:00

wooohoo....
i m so damm bored...
waiting for someone to come online to qie solitaire with me...
whahaha...

went for cao ge concert ytd.....
ok la, not bad...
but i wun pay to go for his concert...
hahaha...
and tmd,
zhuo wen xuan voice is god damm power....
hahaha

was emo...
dunnoe why..
god damm emo...
haix...
luckily angel was there to pei me..
if not i realli dunnoe wat would hav happen...
fuck la...
sian....

2008-07-11T02:37:00.002+08:00

urgh!!!!!!!
i m in pain...
but at least its better now....
went to orchard jus now,
for "sm" project ,
or shld i say for the sake of CUJ?
lol....
anyway,
the "ïnterview"session ended fast....
someone mus be missing it badly...
haha...
went to din tai feng to eat...
went to taka b2 to eat ice cream...
the sale girl quite attractive..
cos she look like yang qian hua...
and when we were leaving,
we found out that there is a food fair at taka sq..
regretted eating at din tai feng..
lol...
ate the tornado potato...
$2 for one and does not taste as nice as those i bought at wdls...

now i m at home...
tired but i cant slp...
cos i wun be able to wake up if i m to slp now..
feel like pon-ing tmr class..
see how ba...
ciaos

2008-07-09T04:45:00.001+08:00

did her 3 favors in a day....
wahahaha...
today = bad day...
went sch alone...
no one pei me eat :(
went to imm find my sis for lunch...
then went home in a rush and try to finish my housework b4 my mother reaches home
went to vista pt to meet jack..
acc her for dinner...
kanna scolded by china kids...
sux
pia all the way down to orchard(becos of someone)..
then from orchard to bkt batok...
then from bkt batok to amk( for supper)
then finally rch home...
luckily her sis was there to pei me...
if not i will be bored to death...
haix...

2008-07-08T01:57:00.003+08:00

nv go sch today...
but a v busy day....
went to acc my mum to see a sinseh...
bought toto...
went to cwp cos wanted to buy bermudas but in the end, ip zone shifted :(
went for a swim...
acted some kind soul and went to bedok to acc some ppl to study...
wow,
that is real kind of me..
lol..
come to think of it,
quite stupid lor...
rush down there after swim,
feeling damm tired and hungry..
but to some people,
toilet is more impt...
:(
surf net awhile,
then went to the hawker to eat...
but some people,
after eating want to go home..
she claims that she stomachache...
urgh...
if i have noe,
then i wldnt have want to eat..
cos my mother left food for me..
damm full la..
haix...
dun forget wat u promise me hor, someone...

2008-07-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

so called shopping for 2 days...

ytd:
went to plazza singapura...
waahahaha...
angel auto pei me...
touched...
spent a total of 100 ytd...
ate cyrstal jade in holland V
cos help someone celebrate she got 90 for IAF...
then 20 for someone hp strip (hope she wun get to read this)
went to cathay,
hoping to buy a bag...
in the end,
cant find any..
had ben and jerry...
life is an enjoyment man...

today:
spent around 130..
went to bugis to have steamboat...
so called celebrate i got 70 for mr..
u guys might think,
chey its onli 70, whats there to celebrate..
all i can say is: 得来不易
hehehe...
after that, went apple strudel for DESSERT,
ate a slice of durian strudel...
yummy..
went to nike shop to buy a bag...
lol....

was telling angeline abt why i cant let eunice go...
yah, its true that its becos i dun wanna let go,
anot not i cant let go...
i do have my reason for that..
i did that becos she sent me this msg:
Everyone said tat to me.
I am sure time goes.
And someone else will be in your life
(everything quoted from my hp....)
and i did told her that i will prove her wrong,
cos i m not any tom, dick or harry
angeline was like scolding me stupid..
cos i m not her anyone...
so she dun have the right to control me...
haix...
come to think of it,
is it really worth of me proving to her that i m not any tom, dick or harry?

2008-07-03T00:31:00.002+08:00

went to bbdc to book my ftt...
finally...
its like 2 years since i step into bbdc...
lol....

finally got my lighter from someone..
hahaha..
thanks alot ya...

went to the one with jack and june...
i m so outcasted cos both are J...
jkjk.. lol...
and this singing session made me pissed...
pissed with 2 people..
one is derrick (i know its non of my biz)
one is that someone...

urgh!!!! dun feel like blogging liao.. nite

2008-06-30T13:10:00.002+08:00

i was smoking ytd, alone...
then my memories flash back to the time when i was working in toy room..
wat i always do..
and there is the period of time when eunice always choose to side me instead of jac..
where we always chat on the phone..
sms with each other...
fool ard, esp during april fool...
i still can rmb that she always scold me stupid for being late,
for not eating,
for not working,
for eating snake and etc..
haa..
come to think of it,
i realli miss that period of time..
although we were not tgt,
but the feeling is there..
ethg is so comfortable..
haix...
now everything is gone..
but i will nt rmb all these good memories...

2008-06-27T11:39:00.002+08:00

first time ever,
17 hrs of mahjong...
wahaha...
the game can be divided into 3 parts.
1st part, lose til my chips are left with half of the original value... :(
2nd part, my chips grew 66.6666% of its original value :D
last part, it drop back to 133.333333% of it original value....

IT MEANS THAT:
I won.... lol...

jus reached home...
going to slp le...
cos i m god damm shag...

2008-06-25T23:56:00.002+08:00

everything back to normal....
not as it is as it started...
at least we are still frens...
i m glad that she accept my request in friendster..
maybe this is a good way...
i still can care for her...
and we are still frens...

exam sux sux sux...
went studying today,
but urgh!!!!!!!
i m so god damm tired..
haix...
tmr last paper...
yeah...

2008-06-23T05:30:00.003+08:00

i manage to pia and finish 2 chapters of mr...
means i have to two more chapter to go..
but when i went to smoke that time,
i then remember my mr paper is wed..
i keep thinking its on tue..
but anyway,
it means that i still got time to study for my sm...
as in more time...
sm sux...
realli sux...
6 chapters man...
hw to study....
cb la...

bad day today...
my father involve in an accident...
got to compensate 1000 ringgit,
which is less than 500 Sing dollar
but that that fucking driver wants 500 sing dollar..

the above blogging makes me feel weird...
since when am i so concern abt my family?
lol...

anyway, jack came my house nearby jus to have dinner...
slack quite awhile before she go homes...

haix,
i feel so weird recently...
i also dunnoe why....
zhe gan jue, yi jing bu dui...
lol....
now i noe,
people say that when u have nth to do,
u will start to anyhow thinking..
its true,
definitly true...
since the moment i am awake,
i haven stop thinking about this (je)...
i dun wanna be like u~~(sh)~~
i cant be so fuck up...
urgh!!!

2008-06-22T02:12:00.002+08:00

again, i felt so lonely...
browse tru my contacts in my phone,
duno who to call.
call those who i want to call,
yet again,
no one answer...
was listening to chong dong,
worst man...
emo emo emo...
lol....

went royal ytd...
with jack and june...
i got so wasted...
lol...
qutie sia sway....

called her......
when the line got thru,
for that moment,
i was like a mute.....
i dunnoe wat to say...
listen to each others breathing...
and kup the phone after tat..

萧亚轩 - 冲动
曲黎沸辉词葛大为

很感激这城市拥挤的交通
让你我还能多相处几分钟
人潮中怕失散所以轻轻拉你的手
一刻不放松不放松

忍不住想要爱你的冲动
不确定你属于我会有点寂寞
你给的幸福在我心中自由走动
抚平我每一个伤口

忍不住想要吻你的冲动
不确定我的执着能让你感动
我只能相信自己感受
不怕失落关于你的一切
我想要比谁都懂

我的心是被你设定的闹钟
提醒我想你的时间不够用
为什么平淡的事情现在忽然生动
是你改变我你改变我

忍不住想要爱你的冲动
不确定你属于我会有点寂寞
你给的幸福在我心中自由走动
抚平我每一个伤口

忍不住想要吻你的冲动
不确定我的执着能让你感动
我只能相信自己感受
不怕失落关于你的一切
我想要比谁都懂

你是情人还是朋友
还没勇气想得太多
你的世界如此辽阔
我会在那个角落

2008-06-19T07:05:00.004+08:00

hah...
i m nt slping...
y?
i jus finish copying my sm notes,
and i manage to get 2 definition into my brain..

service: an act or performance that creates benefits to customers in bring a desired change in or -on behalf half of- the recipient.

benefits: an advantge or gain customer obtain from performance of service or use of a physical object

suddenly i feel that my life is v empty..
ethg is so weird...
i dunnoe why....
i m nt use to it man....
anyway,
i feel so indebted to someone...
garfield...
she say she dun mind but .....
haix
i m so boredddddddddddddddddd.........

2008-06-16T23:04:00.001+08:00

i suddenly feel so lonely...
none of my frens pick up my calls...
it feels like i m living in a world of my own...
urgh!!!!!!

2008-06-13T01:42:00.002+08:00

today signify the end of everything...
no more info abt her...
no more photos of her...
no more anything...
everything is gone....
urgh!!!!!!!!!!!

ceeeiilnoouuvy

2008-06-09T23:46:00.002+08:00

went down to plush for candy bdae...
saw her....
with her bf...
din tok with her...
at all...
and i dunnoe why her fucking bf and his fren kip diao me...
get to noe yi qi, chelsea...
wat a nice name...
hahaha...
it happen that we two jus click off well.. lol...
june damm hl... knn..
see me machiam like dunnoe me
and her reason is that cos i have many girls ard me..
and she said that i keep holding a girl's hand and walk ard which i din.
nt even high that day cos i cant drink much...
food poisoning.. urgh!!!!!!!

2008-06-02T02:49:00.001+08:00

went to catch prawn at yishun...
its like damm fun la...
lol...
5 live prawn and 1 dead 'lobster'..
will go again one day..

2008-05-27T22:22:00.002+08:00

went to hg today..
to take back my money...
ethg went smootly at first...
cos we saw her at kfc...
which means we dun have to search high and lo for her unit...
but in the end,
she fucking push everything away...
so my money were all gone...
ccb....
i have to thank PGJ.. cos she was with me all the while...
so pgj, this is for u:
a million thanks

2008-05-23T17:24:00.002+08:00

tired..... fuck fuck fuck....
fucking tired...
cb
knn
pcb
ccb
fuck

2008-05-22T21:31:00.001+08:00

the world is damm fuck up la....
i m waiting for my money!!!!!!
cb la.. it sux to be poor...
urgh!!! fuck up compnay....
i got alot to say but i m fucking lazy..

2008-05-19T04:46:00.002+08:00

ytd was lynn bdae,
went down to plush with jack...
as usual,
i dun hv to pay for athg....
was high, and finally drunk.. lol
i m feeling terrible now...
not becos of hangover cos its alr over.
its becos, i m guilty in a way or another.
lynn was v close with jack,
but she made jack v disappointed ytd,
firstly, when i wished her happy bdae,
she wants to hug me.
k la, its jus a hug,
but she nv hug jack....
secondly,
she offered me a piece of cake but not jack.
and i had to lie to jack in order to let her eat the cake
as i m worried that she wun be able to have a piece
cos the cake is jus a small one or lynn might forget abt her...
but in the end, she got a piece cos i told lynn that she totally forget abt jack...
then today, i was talking to lynn on the phone.. and jack was still waiting for her reply...
i think that i jus cause her to be so outcast in plush...
maybe i shld nt go down that place again.
hah.. shld i or shld i not?

李圣杰-靠近
走在人挤人的走道
我问了自已
没有爱情的人是否会长命
那些电影常常让人感觉甜蜜
但是我不相信
坐在没有人的角落
我又问自已
究竟应该继续还是该放弃
没有人能了解我现在的心情
想看你想躲你难以决定
每当我想靠近
你总会装冷静
眼看你的表情
仿佛已经说明
我只想要证明
我们这段爱情
也许在你眼里
它只是个游戏
我只想要靠近
也很想要抱紧
回想到那过去
和现在新的你
我还想要参与
你的生活点滴
只要你肯相信
我一定会陪你
走下去
坐在没有人的角落
我又问自已
究竟应该继续还是该放弃
没有人能了解我现在的心情
想看你想躲你难以决定
每当我想靠近
你总会装冷静
眼看你的表情
仿佛已经说明
我只想要证明
我们这段爱情
也许在你眼里
它只是个游戏
我只想要靠近
也很想要抱紧
回想到那过去
和现在新的你
我还想要参与
你的生活点滴
只要你肯相信
我一定会陪你
走下去
能不能够让我再说我爱你
还是你已不想听
能不能够把你彻底的忘记
我是真的搞不清
每当我想靠近
你总会装冷静
眼看你的表情
仿佛已经说明
我只想要证明
我们这段爱情
也许在你眼里
它只是个游戏
我只想要靠近
也很想要抱紧
回想到那过去
和现在新的你
我还想要参与
你的生活点滴
只要你肯相信
我一定会陪你
走下去
只要你再相信
我们会轻轻地
靠在一起

2008-05-19T03:58:00.001+08:00

actualli i was soften by ur words,
but after hearing wat levyne told me,
i m damm pissed la...
till now u still dunnoe how to think....
pek chek...

2008-05-17T00:48:00.004+08:00

somehow,
i dunno why,
i think i m v bad....
but i noe i shld not feel this way,
if nt, i will be scold stupid again...
haix...
y m i so soft hearted?
if onli i could turn back time...

曹格 - 单数
我很清楚爱是双数
我不哭哭也没有帮助
配合演出心里有数
下一幕你就要退出
当你淡出心被空出
都不算数爱的单数
剩除不尽的孤独
被出卖的爱单行的未来
你说过感动不是爱
我为谁悲哀
被出卖的爱单程回不来
没能耐再把心剖开
活着但我不存在
我太糊涂爱是变数
再付出也是留不住
配合演出心里有数
你说不再没有假如
当你淡出心被空出
都不算数爱的单数
剩除不尽的孤独
被出卖的爱单行的未来
你说过感动不是爱
我为谁悲哀
被出卖的爱单程回不来
没能耐再把心剖开
活着但我不存在
被出卖的爱单行的未来
你说不是爱
我为谁悲哀
被出卖的爱单程回不来
没能耐再把心剖开
活着但我不存在
我明白落单了的爱不存在

2008-05-09T00:03:00.003+08:00

it became a habit of mine,
to view ur friendster and blog everyday...
why do i look forward that u will be online,
u wld come and chat with me,
ask me how m i, jus a simple msg will do..
but i know all these wld not happen since we land each other in this state.
i still miss u despite of ur wrong doings

2008-05-04T23:43:00.001+08:00

think b4 doing sthg...
i learnt my mistake...
i saw her...
ethg is like so so so different...
aiya, i also dunnoe...

i miss her indeed..

2008-05-02T01:22:00.001+08:00

i m quite disgusted
by ur doings.....
but still,
i manage to get back my phone...
gf ask me take money back too,
but i think its hard..
had a great time with ah b while waiting for eugene to come fetch us...
fun can still be sought,
without spending much...
heheheheh....

2008-04-28T21:49:00.002+08:00

hah,
i must be stupid...
to think i go tell her that,
and now,
this is how she treat me...
i think she purposely wrote that
to gek me...
urgh!!!!!!
I dunnoe...
maybe i think too much....
cos the fact is:
SHE NEVER LIKE ME AT ALL BEFORE.
but i realli dunnoe how to let go...
angel say i will be v stupid if i cont to hang on.........
i tried tok to her on msn today,
but she avoided me...
wat shld i do?
:(

are u sure u meant wat u say? am i defeated by u totally? do i have the chance to turn the table on?

2008-04-28T15:26:00.002+08:00

ever since i ignore her msg that day,
i fall sick...
my fever jus come and go....
but still manage to acc ah b and gf till 12am on sat and sun..
i know i shld have stay at home instead,
but i know if i m at home alone,
i will start to think of her,
then i will break down again...
i realli miss her alot...
did i do the correct thing?

touch and love is indeed diff. so wat if u r being touched by me, u dun love me at all

2008-04-27T01:40:00.002+08:00

on 26 april,
i did sthg
which i will regret all my life...
i dunnoe urgh!!!!!!
i stll loves u....
i ~~will~~ wait for u..
and i will prove u wrong..
cos i m not any tom dick or harry...

it hurts and it realli hurts alot...

2008-04-25T00:30:00.002+08:00

gonna try angel's method..
i will be the one suffering....
but i think it better to let go the bait then keep biting there and getting nowhere.

just wanna tell u sorry in advance.. realli very sorry about it.. i din mean it but i dun wanna be kept hanging on. :(

2008-04-24T08:26:00.003+08:00

went to plush ytd...
if u can see this,
jus wanna tell u i m sorry...
june june wasnt my gf...
we were so called acting..
i jus wanna see ur reaction..
jus wanna know how u feel....
u r still the onli one in my heart...
still din manage to take photo with u..
i think u r mad at me...
i m realli realli v sorry...

i teared for u again... am i realli nobody to u?

2008-04-22T21:16:00.002+08:00

meet up with my consultant again...
she ask me to break the string,
i told her i m the fish.
i cant break it...
it shld be the one who is fishing to let go...
i wun give up, or athg,
unless i got a definite answer from her....
things are so fucked up in life...
life hasnt been smooth sailing for me...
i dunnoe wat i want in the future,
but now all i want it HER.....

2008-04-22T03:44:00.002+08:00

i dunnoe wat u wanna actualli
u said that u have alot of things to tell me
and u will tell me soon,
but it seems like the soon will nv come.
the truth is out,
i dun wish to prompt anymore.
u r happy can le.
actualli staying like this is not a bad thing.
beocs....
hah.
i dunnoe hw to say.
u r sick,
hope u will be fine soon.
fuck up day for me..

2008-04-15T03:49:00.002+08:00

today is a fuck up day.
kanna diao by an aunty
becos i went to the ladies.
wats wrong with her?
i have cb,
i have nei nei..
but since she mistook e fo a guy,
shldnt i be happy?
i m jus fucking pissed..

if i say i m ok now,
i mus be lying.
but i m happy for her
as she found her happiness.
i will jus mo mo de give her my support.

2008-04-14T04:29:00.001+08:00

i m the stupid one.
i m the cum gong one.
the truth is finally out.
who can i blame?
onli myself. hah

went out with jinni, lp and val,
to 9 tang ling.
we had a great time. hah
nv regret..
haha.

i m willing to sacrifice for you. and only u. ETSH

2008-04-13T02:32:00.001+08:00

hah.....
she still loves her ex...
i m lost...
i dunno wat to do...
life sux..
becos of ethg.
fuck up man...
ugrh!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-08T03:17:00.001+08:00

finally get to see her..
after 7 days..
we stunt,
but failed....
anyway,
passed her the piglet and torch light...
she seems to dun like the torch,
i admit,
i failed..
in making the torch light..
haix

i realli miss her... alot alot...

2008-04-07T02:14:00.002+08:00

1 msg....
for the whole of the day...
the distance,
its further and further..
i dunnoe...
but i m pissed...
nt becos of her...
but my phone...
my fone its like shit
i use it barely for a month,
and its like....
wtf....

i m missing u... but it seems like it u r treatig me colder and colder.

2008-04-06T00:51:00.002+08:00

sthg is not right,
thats what i feel...
but i dunno wat it is...

went st james ytd.
haven been clubbg for a long time.
quite enjoy.
it is when i forget all my troubles.
saw her fren,
tot that she might be there.
search ard the whole of fly,
jus to get a glimpse of her..
hah,
stupid me.
like what she call me...

saw jeff,
everyone link me with le...
but i dun wanna.
he is pissed with her..
for mia...

can u give me a chance?

2008-04-04T20:14:00.002+08:00

i was afraid.
dunnoe how to contact...
but who knows,
u sent me a msg from ytd.
and then
it was where we started off...
hah.
its funny...
i dunnoe...
i miss u...
alot alot and alot..
i din see u for 4 days alr.
i realli wan to see u...
not ur photos,
but the real u...

2008-04-04T01:57:00.002+08:00

3 msgs,
for today.
touched by her,
for morning call me...
din manage to wake up tho.
sorry,
my apologies..
u din slp the whole day..
if u nv call me,
maybe u can catch some slp.

was worried abt u,
cos din manage to contact u.
wanted to call ur hse,
but i dun dare to do so.
so i asked lynda for help.
ur bro said u were out.
was imagining things,
but heard from u soon after that.
i m then relieved.

spend the whole day,
doing ur stuff...
writing letter to u,
tell u wat is in my heart...
but i have no courage to show u...
try drawing a pic of urs,
but its unsuccessful...
hah,
i m lousy...
i have no courage,
no talent...
so for wat i m doing this?
waiting for my courage,
to come to me,
to tell u ethg in my heart.

2008-04-02T02:08:00.002+08:00

april fool....
tricked her....
hah, thats funny....
plan A failed but quickly come up with plan B.
but its over exaggerating..
i nearly died.. haha...
called my mum and asked her to help.
hah,
kanna scolding again...
i m sorry that everything was too over...
as the plan was not successful..
sorry...
anyway,
happy april's fool. :)

i chose to ignore it. my life time, thats how long i will be waiting for u.. cos i srsly fell for you. SME

2008-03-30T03:02:00.002+08:00

bad things happen.
out of expectation..
maybe i m drunk
and she is drunk,
that explains the fight.
i cant do it...
i jus cant give her a punch.
say i useless,
say i hum,
but i dun care.
cos this is my principle.
i cried,
in the alley,
not wanting to let u knw.
i dun wan to be seen as a emo freak,
cos i m nt.
i want to give u wat u want,
but i jus dunnoe wat u want.
i regeretted ethg,
jus fucking pissed with myself,
for the state that we landed in now.
if sorry can cure everything,
i can give u a thousand,
with all my heart.
sorry *1000

2008-03-27T02:58:00.002+08:00

in less than a sec,
high to low..
that was how i felt,
after reading her blog.
se still loves him,
all she told me were jus lies..
maybe lynda is rite,
but i m stubborn,
i refused to believe.
if i had noe,
i wld work tomolo.
no more mtg.
i think she is avoiding,
pls give me a precise anwer.
dun left me hanging in the air.
this feeling sux.
shld i give up?
shld i not?
i still miss her alot,
but wat can i do?
i m reali stupid.......
fuck me

2008-03-25T04:47:00.002+08:00

我爱着谁
爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁
能够把我让我变不对
你不会累
但我却爱你爱得好累
从没有为了谁
不顾安危付出一切
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我
们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我
说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪
你度过
你听我说
你不要这么做
你不要看着我
说你已经知道怎么做
你很难受
我愿意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛
再多坎坷我都陪你走
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而
过好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔
陪你度过
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说
我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔
陪你度过
就算未来有多少错至少
还有我的问候
我的温柔陪
你度过

2008-03-25T04:42:00.002+08:00

something is not right..
i dunnoe wat is it but i just felt it.
m i too impaitent?
i jus want to noe wat u thinkg.
no more breakie with u for that day,
no pills from u,
for my stomach.
tmr is another disappointment.
partially its me,
i was the one who cancelled.
for any other person,
they wld have do the same.
i dun wan u to be tired,
i want u to rest more..
it really hurts to see u like this,
but can i do?
i m still a student,
without a stable income or job.
i really miss u alot.

2008-03-22T02:51:00.002+08:00

on this very day, i flunk my surprise.... i m too naive to think that ethg will go the way i want to... but who knows, she open the back door instead of walking to the back alley... i was stunt. i turn my bak facing her hoping that she wldnt recognise my back view.. but she did... its all gone... no more surprise.... i m a failure.... y is it that i always cant do mythings why... fuck me man...

2008-03-20T03:06:00.000+08:00

still,
there is no answer from u..
and i m not going to force...
stay the way as it is now
and i m contented..
but not to the extend of being happy.
wat can i do?
wat can i say?
hand is swollen,
i m nt surprise.
it's painful,
but not as pain as the heart...
i missing you badly
but are you aware about it?

2008-03-19T08:30:00.000+08:00

i had a hard before going there....
i felt like an idiot looking for people to go down with me...
jus to see u.....
it was the first time that u sat at my table for more than 5 mins..
i was useless, i was drunk...
but thats the only to tell u how i m thinking....
i try to keep away from le,
scared that u might misunderstand,
worrying that u will feel guilty..
am i being paranoid
or did the hit the nail on the head?
i hope it wld be so.
but seeing wat happen,
my heat ache even more...
u chose the way u wanted
leaving me speechless...
did u do it on purpose
or is it u have no choice?
i have nth to say
as i dun wanna to force u...
u say u wld give an answer to me
and i hope that the answer is wat i want.

2008-03-18T14:56:00.000+08:00

i m pissed...
pissed with myself....
for being unable to be there for you....
blame it on my uselessness,
tat i m, fucking broke now....
leaving u alone when u r drunk....
its a sin, its sinful....
kill me....

2008-03-15T02:54:00.002+08:00

waited the whole day....
but there isnt any answer....
wat am i going to do?
i wanted the answer badly
but at the same time i was afraid...
afraid of rejection...
afraid that the answer is no....
but for now,
i m still hanging in the air....
at least there is not disappointment..

2008-03-13T03:49:00.000+08:00

PISSED..... I AM PISSED....

if u r worried or scared that i m angry, then dun do this to me... it's the second time u ps me... and i alr know that u wld nt come toyroom today...

shit shit shit.... jus feeling damm lousy now...

2008-03-09T03:33:00.002+08:00

i think i found someone which i fal in love with....... a very good one... her name is eunos... hehehe... thats all... ♥

rin called.. the way she tok to me is damm fucking attp... cb....

2008-02-19T02:55:00.002+08:00

went to royal again on fri... drunk... becos of some bitch... oh man, hope she wun get tumor cos she FUCKING SALLOW A STONE FROM HER DRINK WHICH SHE THINKS THAT IT WAS FROM MY SHOE.....

ytd also a bad day... fuck la... jus v pissed... knnbpcb..... i m in bad mood..... and i hate being at home.... knn... i dunnnoe why when i m at home, i think fucking much...

why? why must it be like that...... fuck la.... dun wanna blog liao... bye

2008-02-15T18:32:00.002+08:00

went to deroyal ytd.... and i was ALL ALONE... whahahaha....

angel, thanks for the kuku bdae song... wahahahaha.... SHE called.... and said: happy valentine.... wat the fuck.... i was shaking... dunnoe wat to do... shld i let go or shld i nt... pass the phone to angel cos i dun wan to tok to HER....

jus continue drinking with angel and huiwen.... at ard 12.45, went to take cab but no cab at all... vomit until like fuck... lol.....

angel, thanks alot..... wat u told me is alr a very big bdae present to me le...thanks.....

play mj at ester hse... at first lose money... but in the end, i won 90 bucks.. hehehe..... she made top shell for me.. wahahaha.....

i m now rotting... waiting for angel to wake up... if nt, i will go out on my own.. lol... sian....

我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么让我诚实一点诚实
难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁
一个人坐在空的包厢里面
手机让它休息一夜
难,想切割切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点
生日快乐我对自己说
蜡烛点了寂寞亮了
生日快乐泪也融了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你的一点恨
还要时间才能平衡
热恋伤痕画面重
生祝我生日快乐

2008-02-14T01:17:00.002+08:00

tmr is the day... but i m nt looking forward to it.... lol.... at most gg deroyal to drink... hahahaha... haix....

sian sian.... its all over... this time i realli mus let go... i dun give a damm abt athg liao... fuck it man... fucking treat me like retard...

heard sthg from ah mo ytd... i m pissed but she ask me nt to confront anyone...... then all i can do is sua.... SAY I M THE ONE DOING ALL THIS THING BUT RIGHT NOW, WHILE I M BLOGGING , THIS PERSON CALLED ME.....

Shall end here alr... bb

2008-01-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

went to jb to
-dye my hair
-pierce my ear
-bought angel xmas present ( i noe xmas is over)
-buy ear stud

woohoo... all foc.... onli for angel's present.... thanks miko.... lol....

she is broke yet i cant do athg... haix.... cos i have yet got my pay....

and the freaking txtbk cost me 63.67 while my classmate bought it at onli 27.... cb popular......

nid to buy anne's present soon... and i will be broke soon... haix....

2008-01-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

bad new year day celebration..... wat east coast park and all that shit all gone down to drain....

went to bq to eat then rush all the way to raffles place to watch firework... nice.....

went to chris pub.... and she joined in.... but its all becos of jeremy... haix...

sent her home and went miko house.....

2007-12-28T03:06:00.000+08:00

i received xmas gift fr 4 person... one is frm her, one frm my bosses, 2 from my collegues... lol........

all chocolate.... omg! i m getting fat srsly... lol.... but i m nt gg to touch the 3 balls.... till she is willing to give me one year supply of it then i will eat it... =P

xmas is lonely... =( planning sthg big on new year eve... but dunno who is gg... haix... she still nt yet cfm with me... haizx... is she avoiding me? sad sad sad

2007-12-19T03:34:00.000+08:00

ethg is back to normal? hope so ba.... i was happy on sun cos i receive her sms... means she nt ignoring me anymore.... and i m more happy ytd cos she called me... although i din get to pick up... yesh....

srsly, i jus love her so much.. i will move her heart one day..

2007-12-16T03:58:00.000+08:00

it sux.... went passsion... quite pissed off with thomas.... for WHAT HE HAD DONE... thanks ar....

went 97 again after that... luckily qiang qiang was there to pei me... but he is kinda weird...

when will i have the chance to tok to u again? :(

2007-12-15T08:54:00.000+08:00

drunk drunk drunk... went to 1 sum... kanna guan by the guys.... they realli have GOOD intention man.... but since i wanna be drunk, its ok....

when anne reach, went 97...... drink drink drink.... even i noe i cant, i also dun give a damm....

i realli miss u, can u forgive me?

2007-12-14T13:49:00.000+08:00

the onli time i can blog is when i m in csb class...cos there is a com right in front of me and the lesson is v dry... sian..

everyone is like scolding me.... asking me whether is it worth to do all those stupid stuff for u.... i dunno... i m jus too lazy to quarrel with them.... nt point... i noe wat i want and who i want... i dun fucking care how they look at u cos i dun mind.... i jus wan the u that i noe....

ethg started with a reason... and its not ur fault that wat had happened... its that fucking eric that screwed ethg up. cos he jus cant fucking think.... so why are u doing all these to urself....i wish to be there for u when u r down but u nv show it to me when u r sad.. the onli time is the yishun case....

i dun wan u to cry or break down becos os these... i m the one who trigger this and eric is doing all these jus to get back to me.... he cant possibly admit defeat when he knows that he lose to a girl and not a guy....

if realli one have to leave, let me be the one... onli then he will not attitude u and maybe u two still be frens again....

i told u i wanted to take care of u and protect u.... i dun wanna be the one who make u pek chek, make u cry, make u stress or make u unhappy..... if i onli can bring this negative things into ur life, then i shall leave..........

i dun wanna fight no more, i forget wat we were fighting for.. and this lonliness that is in my life, wun let me be a part of u. i dun wanna have a try, girl to live without u in my life, so i m hopping we can start tonite, cos i dun wanna fight no more...

2007-12-13T20:52:00.000+08:00

fucking hangover.... but i dun give a dammm... best is to vomit my heart my lungs and every of my organs out....

tok to her in msn... but its like it will be better if we dun tok....

i dun wanna noe that u broke down... i wan to be there for u... give u hugs, comfort and not jus onli ur tears that are with u

2007-12-13T07:36:00.000+08:00

fuck man.. so wat did the fuck have i done... i realli dunno.... and this matter is like ages ago and now they still bring it up....

u mother fucker, wannna bitch abt me pls return me my money b4 doing so k?

drunk drunk drunk..... i like to be drunk.... jus fuck care abt me...

2007-11-23T12:46:00.000+08:00

ytd, went to meet ah lian after school... now i noe why she wanna ask me go foodcourt with her le... its becos, I CAN HELP HER CARRY HER GROCERIES!!!! hahahaha

and of cus things happen at her home... its her MAID... the maid is scarly enuff cos she jus call iverson and tell him "i m sorry"... anyone heard this cfm would think that this maid is gg to jump off the building or wat.... lol.... and so, ann have no choice but to rush home...

she claim that she gotta rush thats why she nid to take cab, but still she can go buy a cup of bubble tea first before she takes a cab and she claims that she looks cool when she is chewing the pearls.... so that she can gek the sturn look when toking to her maid....

i was there interpreter... although my malay not that good, but i can somehow understand wat she is trying to say... lol.... went to the maid agency while i entertain her son..... at this very precious moment, my princcess call me... she wanted to meet me today and i was like so shocked... hahahaha....

in the end, i was onli able to go home at 12 am.. which i m damm shag..

2007-11-22T03:44:00.000+08:00

together but no status? hah.. it might be the last time i wanna noe.....

for all these while are jus lovely frens? if i din call wendy, then i think it wld have be dragged longer.....

status is nt impt to u but me.... so things still stay as it is? or wat? i dunno wan to be stuck in the middle of nowhere

2007-11-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

on this special day on urs, we are tgt... =)

i love u and i realli do....

i will treasure u... =)

2007-10-30T05:11:00.000+08:00

shld i give up or shld i not? i m confuss....... one msg fr her and it dashes all my dreams... (did i use the right word?) lol....

but nevertheless, i will still surprise her on wed nite....

ciaos...

2007-10-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

i think its too late to notice the nice ppl in ur class by now... cos they are gg to grad le...

had a chat with erika... din noe that she dun like me and angel and thinks that we loook bitchy... lol..... but we also dun like the rest of the group.... lol.....

so ppl, pls treasure wat u have and nt regret it later... =)

today's a nice day

2007-10-27T00:37:00.000+08:00

i have change my target to RIN!!!!!!! lol i dun wanna wish to tok abt wat happen anymore.....

i was surprise today.... u noe wat, the bitchy cum atttitude look da jie is so crappy today... lol... and her voice god damm much like xuan ning... lol..... had a nice day today... jus keep laughing and laughing even in the debate for the divorce topic... and stupid erika, so making me laugh.... if not u gg to get it fr me....

damm shag but still gotta work.. =(.. nearly fall aslp during work... lol.....

princess, i m missing u wor =(.. i wanna go ur hse to stay over nite!!!!!

2007-10-19T13:42:00.000+08:00

i jus wannna blog.... I jus wanna voice out my unhappiness.......

its obvious that u r insensitive to all this things... and being the one forever by ur side, i m the clearest of wat is going on around u...... u choose not to believe me and since its all spoken out, r u happi with it?

i insisted nt to watch that movie with u cos i dun wanna spoil my first time with u... y did i insist on waiting for u to finish the moviue to go home with u? cos i i jus wanna make sure that u will be safe and sound.... cos i noe u will nt call me when u rch home... u will be probably too tired to do that... =(

ya, i may be stupid,... but i jus wanna u to be hhappy but i noe its hard....

worst still.... i found out that day that i have no fren at all..... cb.... no one to go out with me... jus when i wnated to drink... and the stupid 711 close so early.... then wat for call it 711, call it a provision shop....

for wed incident, shld i blame it on my sensitivenss or ur insensitiveness? u expect me to look into ur eyes to tok when ur face is as black as charcoal? hash... thats funny..... but now since its over, i also dun wish to harp abt it....

2007-10-12T14:15:00.000+08:00

summary on how my salary disappear... lol

day 1:

cut hair-28
rings-13
top up ezlink-10
eat-19
cig-10
atm-20

day2:
biotherm-95
bracelet-60
swearter and bermuda-40
polo tee-28
cig-10
t-shirt-16
necklace-13
heineken-14
take cab-50

day3

pary world-17
dinner-5.9
take cab-12.4
ponggol park-56

see, i m totally broke... lol... i still owe ppl money.... haix....

but i definitely enjoy myself at ponggol park ytd... and i think i get to noe her more and more.... but the more i noe her, the more hurt i m... haix....

i jus love her and i want nothing else except her

2007-10-05T12:09:00.000+08:00

my gf is rite.... i dun belongs to this world.. and i keep wondering why the hell i m here for? shitty world...

get to noe more abt her.... she is an ex-convict but i dun mind at all... haha... yin wei suo yi bi you dao li, dao li chang zai wo xin li..... lol... she nearly kanna accident ytd... so wth is her ex doing.... cbk.....

i felt like a princess ytd... i can get to enjoy without paying for a single cent... except to take bus home... but i lose my ciggies.,.... urgh!! 5 dollars jus fly away.... lol.....

went power house with her on wed after the mlm inter... and i think this is the first time i will try... and if it ever fail, i will jus stop day dreaming so much abt getting money the fast way.... but wat to do? i nid to support her....

2007-09-19T14:59:00.001+08:00

reach home quite early ytd... it is a gd thing to my mum but not me.... i jus feel so weird..... and also i have to thank margaret ytd... cos after having lunch with her, she met up with me jus to acc me to wait for cihang... but kanna ps, so she intend to pei me till i went over to meet HER... but in the end i also nv meet HER cos her mum is sick.....

it seems like all my hi-bye frens are always there for me when i needed someone..... first is jiarong, he acc me during the devil incident... and now is margaret...

i dunnoe wat i m thinking now.... something is nt so right... urgh!!!!!!!! i am missing HER..... very badly... although i m gg to meet her in another 2 hrs, but her son will be there too.... so ethg is spoilt... aiya, i also dunnoe...

i think this is the most jialat exp i m getting.... at least celeste wun bring her daughter out when we go eat or shop.. hah... but bo bian... margaret told me that since i m so xin ku, y not jus let HER go... hah... its easier to say than to be done lo...... y nt ask her dun like her bf and find another retarded guy to be tgt with... then she also wun so xin ku, everyday have to worry abt whether her bf got lie to her anot....

sha gua, wo men dou yi yang, bei ai qing shang le you shang, xiang xin zhe ge ta hui bu yi yang, que you zai yi ci shou shang
sha gua, wo men dou yi yan, shou le shang que you bu tou xiang, xiang xin fu chu jiu hui you dai jia, dai jia que zhi shi yi jue, sha gua

hen xiang shu0 you ni shi xing fu de, hen xiang shuo wo de xin shi ni de, hen xiang shuo ni zai de wu jie le, hen xiang shuo ni zhen de wang ji le, hen xiang shuo hui hao hao teng ni de, hen xiang shuo ai ni shi zhi you de, hen xiang shuo ni shi fo ting jian le, hen xiang shuo ni zhen de wang ji le,
ai le, jiu you jian ci li you, bie shuo wo hui liu zai lu kou, bu hui zou, ai ni hui zhi dao zui hou

wo yao xiang xin ni shi ai wo de, wo yao xiang xin ni shi yong gan de, wo fan shi jian shi can ku de, wo zhe me deng, wo yao xiang xin ni shi ai wo de, bu yao mei ci deng wo chang qing ge, yan li zhong you tai dou lai, bu ting la che

yun zai zou, yu zai piao
hao dou bei shang zai feng zhong xiao
xin zai shao, lei zai diao
ni de bei pan mei you ren zhi dao
shuo ai wo hao bu hao
jiu dang zuo shi qi tao
na pai shuo chu kou zhi xu yao yi miao ni dou bu yao
wo de tong xiang ba dao
xue xai liu kan de dao
ni que xai ta huai bao wei xiao
ru guo lian zhi zun dou yi jing bu zai xu yao
zhe ge shi jie shen me ai ni mai bu dao
tian zhen quan bu ke yi dao diao,
ai shi shen meng bian cheng yi zhong wan xiao
ru guo liang shi yan dou yi jing bu zai zhong yao
hai you she me shi zhi de ni qu jiao ao
suo you cheng nuo shui feng ran shao
gei ni de ai yi jing ting zi xin tiao
ni ke zhi dao
gei ni de ai,
wu lu ke tao
yan lei zhi dao

2007-09-19T09:44:00.000+08:00

went to passion and 97 again... fucking pissed... they have been spreading duno wat shit around..... now 1sum cannot go, passion also cannot go... shit la.... its gd that qiang qiang is there to pei me.. haix...

girl, i realli misss u... pls forgive me...

2007-09-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

last week was a fruitful week....

monday- mj due to her dinner at bugis

tue-97.. she is willing to pei me go despite the fact tat she nid to work the next day

wed- party world, jus to hang out awhile but not too late cos she have to work.. open a red wine btl...

thur- i ps her cos i was playing mj... i m sry

fri- i went home cos she gt to go chalet....

sat- one sum and97... eric bdae.. but did sthg sinful.. sry =(

sun- rest cos she needs to slp

mon- went to boat quay for a jug. angel and jon join in....

it seems like i m at rc for my 'lunch' everyday... hahaha... i enjoy it =)

her mum is sick today, so we have to cancel the plan.... =( hope tmr will be alright...

i m missing her badly

2007-09-13T12:35:00.000+08:00

31/08/07 is the first time i get to know her and ps her... lol.....

3/9/07 is the first time we went home tgt..

7/09/07 we went to eat steamboat after work (last min de) and went to one sum and gao cha....

8/09/09 went power house and 97 again...

11/09/07 ladies nite at 97... angel and aloy join in later....

12/09/07 party world with her... open a btl of red wine....

she is too good to onli be a friend but.................. anyway, realli appreciate her companion.... hahaha... and i m quite guilty to make her always late for work and pon mc... lol....

2007-08-26T00:35:00.000+08:00

i tot my tears would onli be for him but i was surprise i tear for myself too.... and at that pt of time, i was in rc working... i jus suddenly brk down when serving a customer and its damm sia sway.. also kanna a frendly lecture from gray.... how stupid i m..

i did not eat the whole day while working ytd cos i tot i wld have a wonderful dinner with someone. but in the end, onli got gastric but nth..... real stupid of me....

sthg happen to him today.... its sthg damm serious..... =(

i din contact angel for the whole of today cos i still cant find the reason i m pissed with her... or shld i rather say with myself? urgh....

shld i give up or not? urgh... this is too tormenting..... i nid to find an listening ear.. but who can i look for?

2007-08-24T04:36:00.000+08:00

exam is finally over.. i tot i wld be the one happily enjoying myself but i was wrong...

we so called fight ytd... and we were b0th jus kpkb away like nobody business.. i dun wanna it to end that way... i realli dun wan..... he doesnt wan me to understand him... y? but we did tok things over peacefully... and i think he is lying to me... urgh...... jus cant he tell me the truth or is the truth realli too hurting to let me noe? urgh....

i tried.. try to act as if nth has happen but i cant help but feeling hurt inside... its dammm hurt do u noe? i can jus cry everyday and everynight, but nth will change.... everything will jus stay the same.... :'(

2007-08-13T03:47:00.000+08:00

i enjoy toking to him.... hmmm, i dunnoe wat has gotten over me? haix.....

although i cant stand the way he tok sometimes, but i love the way he take care of me when i m drunk or tired.... he is jus so gentle to me and ethg... and he is my devil and always be.. =)

2007-08-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

i saw a poster today.... and its say we can make u smile.... but i doubt so cos i noe wat i wan is not so materialistic.... i jus wan sthg and i know its impossible to get it... haix....

urgh... sian sian sian.... and i notice sthg.... i cant gamble when angel is nt around... i will lose until lao sai.... =[

i m sad.... v v vsad.... hahahah.... i m a lunatic...

oh ya, a lunatic followed me ytd.... it was so scary.... i m gald that the police on patrol was there... omg...

2007-07-19T08:40:00.000+08:00

fucking high again... lol... went to one sum..... after anne arrive, went to 97... the guys are jus trying to make me drunk.... they have realli GOOD intention.... qiang, i m disappointed with u too... but since i want to be drunk, i dun give a daammmm....

life sux when she is angry with me...

2007-07-17T17:31:00.000+08:00

my mother found a pack of cig in my bag... and she threw it away... she is nt stupid cos she break the cig at the fliter.... and means i cant smoke...... i have to use masking tape to stick everything tgt... =(...

my dad is on strike... dun wan to give me pocket money... and i have no money to eat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also have a plan.... i m gg to eat up their share of dinner.... i dun care.... hope i will get gastric asap.... hospitalise.... they think they are smart but i m not stupid too...... urgh!!!!

LIFE SUX

2007-07-10T14:04:00.000+08:00

HAHA... this is so funny... do think i will cry ytd nite.... i m so boliao..... a freaking person who onli how to harm ppl and loves to cry..... hah... i was feeling guilty anyway.... it all started with me... i m damm pissed with myself....

so wat if i gt money and get wat i wan, no frens also v jialat.... haix... aiya, jus dunnoe wat to blog.....

KILL ME!!!!!!!!

2007-07-06T17:51:00.000+08:00

woohoo, its been one decade since i last log in... sch has been quite busy recently... esp when they are some many projects due...... but since i m bloggign now, it means that i m QUITE FREE... hahaha... y do i say so? cos someone fat pig trick me into styaing back in school doing nothing.... jus now alr rot until cannot rot in lct le... now still must rot in sch... and the air con is damm freaking cold.... jus directly facing me... =(

life has not been good for me.... went back to kbox to work... but it sux.... hahahaha... jus becos i m being accused, they stop my shedule.... but anyway, i also dun wanna continue to stay there to work liao... cos i jus dun like joey nee and all her assumption..... it's machiam like a matchmaking session... haix...

i have broke my right arm and lost my beauty slp ytd due to someone.... pull her up and in the end, who knows that she is so god damm heavy.... that's why my arm dislocated... =( i m a handicapp now... =(

i have so many things to say but i jus dunnoe how to phrase it... anyway, i also think that it's inconvenient to say it out here.. cos PL and FP willl get to read my stuff.. =P

something it's jus not right with me... i feel so god damm lost... and nowadays i m getting more petty.... i also dunnoe why.. and pms is nt the reason.... =/

i cant see athg in my future... it's completely dark... so wat am i gg to be in the future? a cleaner? a promoter? no way... i m gonna aim sthg big... hahaha..... but xin you yu dan li bu zhu... =(

and during this mia period, i have been in a r/s... but nth good came out of it.... i m the one who is kanna cheated..... he is jus a good actor... i have to blame myself for being stupid and not being able to commit... but i think no one wld if they were me... so i m nt at fault!!! jus like gray say, sai weng shi ma.... something good will come to me in the end.... i jus have to think positive.... ;)

i m getting lazier day by day.... i jus dunnoe why.... i feel so god damm tired in ethg... maybe it's due to my medication... ytd, my whole right leg god damm pain... i jus cant put weight on it and meaning, i cant walk or stand... i jus can sit down and let it lie flat on the sofa... so it's a gd thing that my hse sofa is a L shape sofa. =P maybe it jus get too tired cos recently keep working... i m jus too hardworking. hah... nt funny at all....

my burden is gg to be overloaded... i have to let go sthg b4 i realli break down.... and the first thing in my mind is _____... u noe i noe can alr.... maybe pl also noe... cos i noe that i cant be stupid anymore.... gray taught me =)

还记得那夜
清晨最初一眼
眼前的世界
看起来快毁灭
你在我身边
看着屋檐像末日的雨天
假如雨越大一些
是否靠近一点
你没有察觉
心跳特别强烈
太疯狂沉默
却熄了一整夜
明明有感觉
可惜时间流出了我指间
回头却看的见
满地回忆的碎片
那爱一直到今天
才在我心中浮现
爱情真出现
那一瞬间
我们都没发现
那雨是一直到今天
爱下在我心里面
淋湿了双眼湿
过今天才
清晰的看见
你的脸
后来那几年
当然也有雨天
我开始学会
等雨后的晴天
谁在我身边
度过长夜任雨点在倾泄
却再也找不回当时心动感觉
你是否偶尔像我静静怀念
那一样的爱倾盆的那一年如
果那场雨再度席
卷总熄在里面
我一定抱住你
绝对不让你走远
那爱一直到今天
才在我心中浮现
爱情真出现
那一瞬间
我们都没发现
那雨是一直到今天
爱下在我心里
面淋湿了双眼
湿过今天
才清晰的看见
你的脸

2007-06-19T15:38:00.000+08:00

fucking hangover.... i jus cant let athg enter into my mouth... jitao go iaf slp all the way... i dun care... and this is not i wanna care.....

tok to her in msn but its like it will be better if we dun tok.....

i m nt in the wrong or maybe i m? i din spread athg... its the mother fucker who is doing it.....

2007-05-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

i think i lost a good fren... the good fren of mine is gonna become my sch mate... my mummy also gg to be no more liao....

i m nt trying to mean athg here if u happen to read it... jus tat i know that emily dun like u to hang out with me so often... i also dun wanna make life difficult for u... and dun wanna hai u two quarrel again.... so i think i shldnt be asking u out so often... u take care of urself and study hard....

i think life will be bored for me... after sch, go work... work alr, go home, do project or slp.... this is the kind of life i m gonna to lead... and of cus, in the mean time, i will go get my lisence asap....

urgh!! BORED BORED BORED..

2007-04-24T13:55:00.001+08:00

u hurt me badly.... by showing me wat i dun wish to see, i m devastated... urgh!!!!

shld i wait or just let it go? hard to find another one but i m tired... tired of everything..... everynite can slp properly... thinking of u and wishing that i will receive ur sms once i look at my phone or u wld jus give me a call when my hp rings... but so far, none of this happen...

we are drifting apeart... even if we were on phone, there is nth much for us to tok abt.. we will jus listen to each other breathing or u will jus say why am i asking so much... but other than ask u stuff, we can we tok abt?

things change... we are nt wat we use to be..... =( we are not the ones when we can jus chat everything under the sun.. no more darlings nor dear.... all gone.....

sch life without mummy is bored to death... urgh!!!!!! my mummy is realli a good mummy.... she is there listening to me tok when i nid an ear or cheer me up when i m down.. and also not forgetting that she likes to plant virus in my phone and she feels v proud of it... hahaha...

mummy, u r gg to court soon.. good luck to u... i m sry that i have landed u in this state... sorry mummy.... =(

你要的不是我 心碎的失去轮廓

你要的不是我心碎的失去轮廓